


Just Shiny Enough

by sarcastic_fina



Series: Shiny Verse [2]
Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 21:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastic_fina/pseuds/sarcastic_fina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were unexpected but she recognized now who was meant to be and who wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Shiny Enough

After not seeing them for so long, this was just about the last thing she'd expected. A companion could never marry or fall in love and she'd accepted that some time ago, even if she did have her moments of regret or sadness over the fact. But she recognized where she should be, where she wanted to be, and so she didn't give up when she'd been taught for a man too stubborn for his own good. She was sure some part of her was happy for him; very, very deep down. After all, it wasn't as if he was with some doxy that wasn't worth him. If anything, he was with the only woman she could ever think good enough for him. And while she knew that if she'd seen their relationship from the beginning, she would've had her doubts about him being good enough for her - he was too jaded, too dark and cynical for the likes of her - she knew now, seeing them from afar that they were right each other.

The wedding bands on their hands said so. But even without the shiny show of commitment, she could see it in the way they were together. She didn't even have to hear what they were saying; it was all in their movements. From the beginning, she'd noticed the way he was with her compared to the rest. He had no qualms with physical affection when it came to his Little Kaylee. Seemed she wasn't so little anymore; all grown up and very much in love with the man that Inara had once seen a brotherly figure to the young and cheerful Kaylee. But the way they were looking at each other now was anything but sibling affection. He held her hand in his, their fingers twined together, bodies pressed up close. The way his head ducked towards her as if to share a secret when there was no need for quiet voices said a lot. And how he smiled... Not that reserved captain smile, but a real big Mal smile. Genuine and full and directed solely at his wife, who smiled just as brightly back. Her head tipped to the side, fondness radiating off her in a glow.

It had been five years since she'd last seen them, busy with her own life and work. She'd missed them, thought of them often. And she knew it was wrong to think that he would never move on, but she did. She figured there might be a woman here or there to satisfy those needs, but a wife? That was... huge. Especially for him. He wasn't one much for committing, not with the life he lived and the things he'd seen. But there he was, happily in love and married away.  _How long?_ She couldn't help but wonder.

"Four years," came the reply from behind her.

She whirled around to see Zoe standing there, just as reserved as she'd always been. There was a kind smile, but she didn't move to embrace her as Kaylee would have.

"That long?" Inara said, forcing the words out with as little emotion as she could.

Zoe nodded. "They hid it for awhile, were caught by Jayne in a... not so innocent position." She frowned apologetically. "It was all over the ship after that and well..." She lifted. "They married after two years, been that way since."

Inara nodded jerkily, turning her gaze back toward them as they walked along the path. She could still see that innocence in Kaylee as she reached for flowers, cupping them in her hands with wide-eyed appreciation. She found herself surprised however when Mal reached out, plucked a flower from the bush and then slid it into Kaylee's hair, tucked behind her ear. And they shared a moment right before her, staring into each other's eyes with unadulterated love. The moment was less charged when he said something, making her slap his shoulder and laugh. Such ease with each other; something that had long eluded her when she'd had affection for him. She could faintly hear Kaylee's laugh before it was smothered by Mal's mouth as he kissed her deeply. Inara's brows lifted. It wasn't brief or rough, as she rather expected out of a man like him. It was smooth and tender and lingered as he said something against her mouth and Inara found a pit of jealousy fill her stomach. She would never have that; not with Mal or anyone. She could play the part of a companion, but she would never be a true one to just one man. Not like Kaylee, who she found she was actually envying in that moment.

"And they're happy together?" she asked, despite knowing the answer.

Zoe snorted. "Disgustingly happy together," she said, though she couldn't hide how fond she was of the couple from her voice. "You know Mal though. He tries to act touch and separated from things like that. Ain't much good at it when it come to her though."

"He never was," Inara admits.

"Yeah. The way River tells it is she knew from the beginning where it was going. But then... You can never really tell with her. She could've been talking about something else entirely." She smiled slightly. "You fixing to talk to them any time soon or were you planning on simply watching them all afternoon?"

She sighed. "I already know what will happen if I go. Kaylee will try to apologize and explain and she'll think she betrayed me. Mal will tell her there wasn't any betrayal because he never wanted me. They'll argue, then I'll get into a fight with Mal, Kaylee will resolve it and in the end we'll part ways. Them together, happy and shiny, and me, alone and... Well, just plain alone."

Zoe sighed. "Your precognition skills are astounding."

Inara turned to her, frowning. "Well what was I supposed to say? That the 'verse will turn around and Mal and I will get along? That I'll somehow find my own Mal and walk off to find him while they enjoy their marital bliss?" She shook her head.

"You can't hold on to something you never really had," Zoe told her, not as gentle as Inara would have liked. "It's been five years and I'm sorry if it hurts you, but Mal is happy with Kaylee and I can only assume that it's how it should be in the 'verse."

"He'd have to be happy with her to marry her," Inara said sadly.

Zoe smiled. "It was her who proposed."

Inara laughed, despite her sorrow. "Really?"

"No lie. She got down on a knee and asked him to marry her with one of the spare piston rings from the engine. She was dressed up and not a smudge of grease on her, asked him right there in the engine room." She shook her head. "After fussin' over how he should be the one who proposed, he accepted and they were married right quick. Didn't see 'em for a few days after that. Barely left their room." She cleared her throat, eyes falling for a moment. "I'm sorry Inara."

She sighed, shaking her head as she stared down at them in silence. They were walking again, his arm around Kaylee's waist while her head fell to lean against his shoulder. She covered his hand with her own, their fingers twining over her stomach and that was when she noticed the bump. Her brows lifted and her mouth fell open.

"Four and a half months," Zoe answered knowingly.

Inara felt tears in her eyes but she blinked them away hastily. It wasn't her right to cry over it. "She'll be a great mother," she managed, swallowing tightly. "And he..." She nodded. "A great father."

Zoe silently agreed. "It was unexpected. For everybody. But... We've grown used to the idea and they're taking the necessary precautions to get ready for the baby."

Inara nodded, unable to form words. She watched as Mal leaned over and kissed Kaylee's hair, pressing his cheek against it a moment later before reaching over with his free arm and pressing a hand to her stomach, stroking her bump proudly. She could only imagine what he might be like as a father. It wasn't a stretch for her to think of him talking to Kaylee's protruding stomach; probably telling their unborn baby tales of his heroism, in war and their many battles on and off Serenity. She imagined him talking to it as though it were already there and able to hear him. Telling it things like how shiny its mom was and how it was going to love the ship it was born on. She closed her eyes a moment, forcibly pulling herself together. She should be happy for them.

When she was sure her tears were gone and her composure back in place, she reopened her eyes, only to see they were farther off now; she was barely able to make out their forms. Some part of her was thankful that she couldn't watch their intimate displays while another part entirely wanted to see for herself, to convince that last sad part of her that it was for the best.

"How long will you be staying?" she wondered. She both wanted and didn't want them to linger.

"We're shipping out tonight. It was just a short stop. Kaylee needed a few parts and we needed some other supplies. This was the closest port and..." She cleared her throat. "We all missed you."

Inara turned to her. "I missed you all too."

Zoe simply nodded. She never really was one for emotion or sentimentalities.

"How much longer then?"

"Not long."

She bit her lip. She should go see them. It could be another five years before she saw them again. By then they'd have a small child with them; one with his looks and her cheerful attitude, she bet. It surprised her how easily the picture of their child came to mind. But it fit, they fit, and she knew that with time she would come to accept it as it was.

"Well," she said, clearing her throat. "I should at least say hello before I say goodbye."

Zoe smiled just slightly, as if to give encouragement.

Inara walked off, feet unsteady, stomach squirming tightly. She used every lesson she was every taught to keep composed. Graceful on the outside, but a mess inside, she searched with her head high and a mask to hide her emotions in place.

She found them sitting on a bench, Kaylee's legs lifted up and sitting comfortably across Mal's lap while she leaned her head against him, eyes drooped sleepily. One of his arms was around her, playing absently with her hair while the other laid across her legs, fingers stroking just under her knee. There was no uneasiness between them, but a comfortable air about them. They didn't speak; they just sat in the quiet, enjoying their time alone. She couldn't help but wonder if it was Kaylee that did it to him, finally put that part of him that was always on alert to rest. If maybe she was the salve needed for his wounded soul. Kaylee sighed, nuzzling her head against him and he rested his head against her hair, eyes falling closed.

Inara considered turning and fleeing but then Mal turned his head and noticed her. There was no shock in his eyes or expression. He nodded curtly and that was all, as if dismissing her. Kaylee noticed the movement and lifted her head, turning to see Inara. She smiled brightly, though there was a hint of panic in her eyes. She stood up and hurried around the bench to hug her still and Inara nearly lost her resolve when she felt the bump against her stomach.

"I've missed you so much!" Kaylee exclaimed, giving her a watery smile. She lifted her arm, wiping at her face with the back of it and giving a sniffling chuckle. "Sorry. I'm a bundle of mixed up emotions," she admitted. "Just as haywire as Serenity is when she's runnin' low."

"Can't argue there," Mal agreed.

Kaylee waved a hand at him as if to shush him, smiling before she turned back to Inara. "Been so long."

"We can always go and return in another five years, 'lest you be offended by us fringin' on your territory," Mal told her, half frowning.

"Don't mind him. He didn't get much sleep last night," she said, the twinkle in her eyes mischievous and enough to let Inara know exactly what happened to keep him awake. Her lips tightened slightly.

"Well worth a lack of sleep," he replied, smiling up at his wife, a whole lot more care free than Inara had ever seen him.

Kaylee's cheeks reddened just slightly, but her coy smile said everything it was supposed to. Their eyes stayed connected and Inara knew they were off in their own little intimate world for the moment. It made her want to run off once more; pretend she knew nothing of their status together. But then Kaylee was clearing her throat, breaking off the moment to return to Inara. "I'm sorry. I... I forgot how weird this might be for you. I shoulda waved you before we came or... Or maybe before the wedding." She flushed with embarrassment then. "It all just happened so hasty like." She frowned. "Listen to me, prattlin' on like a boy with his hand caught down his pants. I ain't explainin' this right."

"It's all right. Zoe told me." She nodded, keeping her calm veneer. "Congratulations," she told them. "On the nuptials and the baby."

Kaylee seemed to breathe a sigh of relief while Mal simply nodded. "'Preciate that. You feel like givin' us a belated wedding gift, feel free to send some work our way. We're gonna need all the coin we can get once this baby comes."

"Malcolm!" Kaylee scolded in the same voice she used to chastise him years ago, except it was "capt'n" then. "You can't be askin' for belated weddin' gifts. It ain't right." She flushed. "He's just moody. He ain't mean nothin' by it."

"You don't have to keep makin' excuses for me,  _bao bei_ ," he replied gruffly. "She was around awhile. She knows I ain't nothin' but a real bad man."

"No you ain't," Kaylee disagreed, smiling.

"Only to you Kaylee," he replied quiet and fond. "Only to you."

Inara felt her chest tighten slightly and forced a smile. "I see marriage hasn't changed you too much, Mal."

He looked over to her. "Just made me all the more shinier," he replied with an arrogant half-smile.

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "So Zoe told me you were four and a half months along," she said, changing the subject slightly.

Kaylee's hand lifted to cover her stomach. "Sure am."

"And you were planning to raise him or her on the ship?" she asked rather skeptically.

"Ain't a better place for it," Kaylee said, cheerfully.

"But you must admit, not all of the work you do there is... legal," she reminded.

Mal sighed, turning to look at her once more, frowning. "Ain't like it's gonna be any different stuck on one of the core's. No more safer. Besides, if he's anythin' like his parents, he's gonna love Serenity."

" _She_ will fit right fine on our ship," Kaylee agreed, quirking a brow at her husband. "Reckon she'll love it even more growin' up on it an' all."

" _He_ surely will," Mal replied, mouth quirking with a grin.

Inara looked back and forth between them.

"I'm tellin' ya, it's a girl!" Kaylee exclaimed, face alight with laughter.

"And I'm telling you, that there's a boy," he said, pointing to her stomach.

She shook her head. "You done rattled that brain of yours."

He laughed, shaking his head. "When my son gets here, you'll know I'm right."

"Not for a few years I won't, seein' as this one here is a girl!" she replied, hands on her hips.

Sighing, Mal stood up from the bench and walked around to his wife, hand falling to her stomach while he kissed her hair like he had so many times in the past. "Reckon I'll love it either way," he told her with a decisive nod.

She smiled up at him. "And she'll love you too."

Inara turned her head away as they kissed.

"Hey capt'n," Jayne's voice could heard yelling from up above, around where Inara had been shortly before. "We're ready to get gone when you are!"

Mal nodded up to him before turning back to Kaylee who reached out to hug Inara. "Sorry we couldn't stay longer. Short trip an' all. Maybe some time soon though." She brightened. "Maybe after the baby's born!"

Inara smiled slightly, nodding.

With a brief goodbye, they took each others hands and started off back toward their ship.

There was a knot in her stomach that told her to go after them, ask if she could just talk to Mal for a minute in privacy. Ask him why. Why Kaylee? Why not her? But she already knew the answer. Kaylee was his shiny. She was everything he'd lost once upon a time and what he desired to have again, even if he pretended he didn't. She brightened him up when he was falling apart and she was the only one he could be himself around without feeling out of place. There was no façade there; no captain veneer or sarcastic mask to hide his true feelings. He was just Mal with her and she was just Kaylee and together they fit like they wouldn't with anyone else. Inara wasn't meant for him, she wasn't really meant for any one man.

So she watched with a heavy but accepting heart as the couple walked away, hands swinging between them. She'd never have it for herself, but gorram it all if she wasn't going to be happy for her friends for finding it in each other. She smiled. There wasn't anybody in the 'verse that would take better care of Mal than Kaylee and she knew for a fact the same could be said vice versa. Her heart would mend, and until then she'd just have to let them walk away, happy in the lives they were building, unknowing of the hurt woman left by the wayside. She'd made her own bed and she'd have to lie in it.

Some things just weren't meant to be, while others were just shiny enough to make it.


End file.
